Connecting with others by connecting with self

From the desk of Renee Vos de Wael, a Featured Partner of The SWAT Institute:

It is interesting to notice that when we introduce ourselves there are a lot of “hum’s” and pauses.  Who are you?  Being new in a group (any group, choir, swim club, moving country/new city group, new job) gives us an opportunity to think about ourselves. Who are we?  How would we like to define ourselves?

So you have a choice?

Do you want to take some time out and reflect upon who you are right at this moment or fill in the blanks of what you think this new group wants you to be?  That is difficult, but your new place in this group is totally open for you. Maybe you came along with a friend and this friend knows you. Do you want to be the definition that your friend has of you? In any social setting we choose a part that will be ours. Sometimes we grow into our roles, becoming a teacher or caretaker. For certain roles in our life we have the opportunity to train, follow an education. Some of our roles we kind of learn through successes and failures. Whether it is by choice or not, every day there is an opportunity for you to start again.  There is a base from where you can start building.  But everything else can be changed.  It is like choosing a complete new outfit, your new dress code.

Are you happy with the role that you have at the moment? If you are, then you’ll be that person who has no difficulty introducing yourself to the new group. If you want to be the authentic you, then it is at that time you will reconnect with the things you find important to yourself. The things you create more space for and allow to come out and play.

Sometimes, we have been someone else to “fit in” for so long it is difficult to introduce ourselves as the person we know we can be. It feels as if we’ve forgotten who we are; that person who had no difficulties with adventures or thinking out of the box; that person that loves to cook, play loud music and go on a swing. Yes, even being over 40 or whatever age!  It is timeless.  To go out and find out whom you are takes courage, but you’ll notice it takes less energy than playing a part. This person we are is close to our heart and is ready to come and play. It is you who has been giving yourself permission to “hide” for a long time. Whatever advice has been given to you, or experiences you have had, you know what it is you need to do to be ‘you”.

So before walking into an introduction or a new conversation today take some time to search, feel and reconnect with you. Have a look at the opportunity at hand. New changes and new roads to discover; Or even better, a familiar road that you haven’t taken for a while.

In the I Ching it is written: “The way of creative is to win others’ hearts through following the truth within ourselves.” There are many, many ways to interpret the I Ching, but this just made me think. We all like to connect with others and need to connect with ourselves. So it is important to be ourselves. This way we give the best part of us to others and invite them to do the same to us.

Namaste Renée

Featured Partner of The SWAT Institute
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