Good Intentions Doesn’t Guarantee Good Outcomes

I recently spent some time with some very good intentioned people; people who are absolutely doing the best they can with what they know and believe.

In fact, they believe so strongly in what they believe that a lack of integrity would be a very hard thing to convince anyone of.

The trouble is what they believe. At least, that’s how I see it.

The men in this boys club believe that children should be seen and not heard, women should know their place, and men, rightfully so, are the kings of their castle.

They believe that men should respect women . . . bein’ what a woman is: Different. Challenging. Weaker. Not less than . . . but yes, less. Still very important . . . to him. And his needs. And if she knows her place, everything will run very smoothly.

Sadly, it seems the wives believe it, too.

Good intentioned people. Just trying to teach me how to right my wrong ways. Trying to teach me who I should be. Instead of me.

 

Here’s the thing:

Being a women’s advocate doesn’t make me anti-man.

 

I have the most incredible husband who is my best friend, lover, and partner for life. I wish all people the kind of love, freedom, and emotional support we give to each other.

Feminism was not intended to cause the breakdown of the “American family,” even if it did. It was meant to give women their rights to become empowered . . . to expand their Emo­tional Edges! The same way men are able to!

The problem is that many women still struggle with know­ing their worth.

Even in the year 2015, when a little girl is born, she is a “Miss.” If she should be so lucky as to get mar­ried, she becomes a “Mrs.” If she gets divorced or never mar­ries, her title shifts to the stern-sounding “Ms.”

Boys, on the other hand, are born a “Mr.” and die a “Mr.” Their identity is completely separate and untouched by the women in their lives.

At the Vancouver Peace Summit 2009, the Dalai Lama said, “The Western woman will heal the world.” I believe him.

Not because the Western woman is smarter, better, or more en­lightened than other women, but because today we have the ability to expand our Emotional Edges further than ever before and further than many women around the world are able to even today; women who have no rights or personal freedoms; who can’t drive a vehicle or pursue an education. The West­ern woman can chase her dreams, follow her heart, and make her own decisions. She has more options and more choices, which means more empowerment. You simply can’t have half the population oppressed and ever expect to find world peace.

In 2015, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, executive director of UN Women, was quoted as saying: “A girl born this year will be eighty before she lives in a world of gender equality.”

 

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We must Close the Gap faster. #CloseTheGap

This is why I do what I do.

 

Sayings that have stood the test of time are around for a reason: The path to hell is paved with good intentions.

If you are ready to join me in closing the gap and healing the world, check this course out and see if it resonates with you: The 12-Week TeleCourse: The Emotional Edge We get started on Wednesday, September 30th. It is designed with one intention: to set you free!

Huge love,

XOX

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P.S. For more details on The Emotional Edge or to join our 12-Week TeleCourse, click here!

P.S.S. What do you think about this ‘Crystal’s Corner’? Leave me a comment and I promise to get back to you!

 






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    Crystal is the founder and CEO of The S.W.A.T. Institute. Her personal story is the perfect backdrop to become a voice for the next era of the women’s movement. Crystal has overcome insurmountable odds to create a life of joy and purpose. From a tough beginning—her parents turbulent divorce at age 12, a stranger rape at 14, extended sexual abuse from a family friend, moving out at 15, battling the early stages of cervical cancer at only 17, suffering a traumatic head injury at age 20 that left her to deal with unannounced seizures, marrying young and gaining over 80 pounds in her pregnancies, then struggling through a difficult divorce and near bankruptcy before becoming a single mother to two beautiful girls (one who nearly lost her own life in 2010)—Crystal has dedicated her life to helping women transcend their victimhood, martyrdom, self-limiting beliefs, fears, and patterns.
    • Sacha

      Incredibly important blog Crystal!! I am still reeling from a bad experience at a check up for my 7 year old daughter – the Dr was despicable – he made snide comments that Isis talks a lot. He asked her a question and she excitedly answered – then he cut her off and said “wow, don’t you talk a lot” while mimicking her with hand motions. Her face went from authentic joy to completely confused and shut down. I tried to recover it but he and I ended up in a fight. My kids have never seen me like that – but I am their advocates and I have creating such a protected environment for them where they are celebrated and honored completely by the adults around them. As a child I remember being quiet, expected to be quiet and helpful. Your women’s advocacy Crystal Andrus helped me break through those limiting stories that had disabled me and caused such paralysis of action and voice. You are an angel warrior goddess teacher healer friend and truly the most honest and pioneering of women. I love you. Thank you again for sharing your experience and perspective.

      • oh darling… i love you! And way to go to stand up for your daughter! They learn by watching us and seeing how we show up in the world! P.S. you too are an angel warrior goddess teacher healer and friend xoxoxoxo

    • Tracey Cooper-Durrani

      My Grandmother was old school where if you wanted to be anyone you should marry someone with money, she still tells my daughter this! Just this past Sunday, my mom made a comment to my daughter after spending a day shopping with her “Rhea you better marry someone rich cause you sure like to shop!” My response….She will make herself rich and be able to support her own shopping habits! We must teach the next generation that men do not have to be the bread winners and support us any longer. We are what beliefs we were taught…time to change the belief system!!

      • way to go, Tracey! We want to be in a relationship with a man who we love and who loves us … not with someone who needs to save us! bravo!