“We have much bigger challenges to face than if ‘the Donald’ grabbed women’s crotches.”

“We have much bigger challenges to face than if ‘the Donald’ grabbed women’s crotches.”

My dearest friend,

Never have I written publicly about my sexual assaults in this way. But here it is. I can’t be silent any longer:

I was stranger raped at 14. I was a virgin; dragged behind a bush one night and raped.

I was also raped every night for three months when I was 15. My mother had sent me to live with a young couple who had children; I could be their ‘nanny’, and they could take care of me. Once I realized no one was coming to help me, hear me, save me, I ran away. I spent three years homeless, schlepping around with my clothes in a black garbage bag.

During these experiences, I was held down, hand over my mouth told not to make a sound. Silently raped.

I learned to be silent about my shame. Oh my God, my shame. What did do wrong? What could I have done differently? I hadn’t been drinking. I wasn’t promiscuous. I was a child. Raped by men. Nothing ever happened to the men.

Over the course of many more years, I continued experiencing harassment and sexual abuse. My shame always prevented me from speaking out.

One was a lawyer who offered to ‘help me out on my expensive billing if I gave him a hand’. I was already $75,000 into my child support case. I didn’t understand what he was asking for. You know, give me a hand, he said. He unzipped his pants. I left his office shaking and shocked. When I contacted the Upper Law Society of Canada, they said I could file a complaint, and it would go on his record, but there was nothing else they could do.

I stayed silent. Until now.

The craziness that is happening in America has reached a whole new level of crazy. Broken down crazy. Abusive crazy. Sexual assault crazy. Cra-cra-crazy.

And somehow millions of Americans are numb to it. Millions are desensitized by accusations that their next President is a sexual predator.

Who cares about it? It’s ONLY ‘locker room talk’? It’s just how guys are.

“Grow up,” Fred wrote to my friend on Facebook who said what Trump had done was unacceptable in a President. In a nutshell, Fred wrote back, “Grow up! Get over it. ‘This’ is what goes on in the world. We have much bigger challenges to face than if ‘the Donald’ grabbed women’s crotches.”

Without checking in first with my political correctness, I instantly wrote back to Fred:


Here was my exact post:

As a woman who has actually had my boss push me against the wall in an underground parking lot, alone, stick his hand up my dress — all in a matter of seconds – and tell me he wanted to ‘f*ck my c*nt” and when I pushed him away and told him I had a boyfriend, he laughed and said, “I don’t want anything serious, just to have a good time”….

I DON’T THINK YOU GET THE SERIOUSNESS OF THIS, Fred! When I went to a lawyer to see what my rights were, he told me it was my word against my boss. When I refused to ‘play the game’ I lost my $150,000 a year job. I was a single mother. This is not a game. This is not locker room talk. This is not acceptable. And to have a potential President who talked like that at 59 years of age about WOMEN… IS WRONG ON EVERY LEVEL. Shocking that so many STILL DON’T GET THIS!!!



I’m sorry if that just shocked or sickened you, but I can’t be silent any longer.


In 2009, the Dalai Lama said:

“the Western Woman will heal the world.”

We, women, are being called NOW!

The time is NOW!


If you are still afraid to speak your truth, own your past, talk about your injustices, or be a voice for other women, I am calling you now to heal your learned helplessness. Because you did learn to be silent. You learned that this is just what guys do; that sexual assault is not that big of a deal.


It’s a big deal. It must stop.

It will stop if we women decide that

it matters and that it is a BIG FUCKING DEAL.


Sexual assault is an act of power, control, violence, and abuse. It damages the person who was abused. It damages our society. Our world simply cannot have this type of violence permissible any longer. And yes, there are many challenges we must face but if ‘the Donald’ thinks it’s okay to grab women’s pussies without permission, I think HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL.


It is time to STAND UP!


Oh my sister, it is time! Stand up!







Crystal is the founder and CEO of The S.W.A.T. Institute. Her personal story is the perfect backdrop to become a voice for the next era of the women’s movement. Crystal has overcome insurmountable odds to create a life of joy and purpose. From a tough beginning—her parents turbulent divorce at age 12, a stranger rape at 14, extended sexual abuse from a family friend, moving out at 15, battling the early stages of cervical cancer at only 17, suffering a traumatic head injury at age 20 that left her to deal with unannounced seizures, marrying young and gaining over 80 pounds in her pregnancies, then struggling through a difficult divorce and near bankruptcy before becoming a single mother to two beautiful girls (one who nearly lost her own life in 2010)—Crystal has dedicated her life to helping women transcend their victimhood, martyrdom, self-limiting beliefs, fears, and patterns.
  • Sunny Dawn Johnston

    I appreciate your honesty my friend.. and honor your voice as a voice of many. Thank you!!!!!!

  • Mamajo

    This situation of the “locker room talk” with Donald Trump has been staying with me big time. It enters my mind every day since it first came out. It comes to mind every time I remember all the incidents when men said something sexually inappropriate to me and I just laughed it off or walked away without confronting it. It comes to mind when I remember the sexual assaults I’ve had in my life and blamed myself for them for many, many years. It comes to mind when I am watching a TV show and the man pushes the woman against a wall in an elevator or on a piece of furniture, and kisses her, and the woman reacts in way that signifies she enjoyed it. It brings to mind SO MANY conversations I have overheard with men talking about women in an exploitive, demeaning way and LAUGHING about these lewd comments. WOMEN HAVE TO STAND UP WHEN THIS HAPPENS!!! So what if the men say, “Oh lighten up. It’s just a joke.” Disrespecting women shouldn’t be an okay fucking joke. Period. And women need to call it out when they see it and hear it. Who gives a shit if we are called bitches and blue-ballers and “too serious”. Do I take it seriously when a man brags about grabbing a woman’s pussy? When he calls any woman that is not model thin a fat pig and stupid? Hell yes, I do! Whether he is a presidential candidate or not! Just take one day in your life and look at everything you encounter (with people and with the media) from a lens of women being disempowered, disrepected or patronized and it will amaze you what is still out there. We have come a long way for sure, rarely do we the see the calendars of naked women in garages anymore, but there is still a long way to go with some men in our society.

  • Great to hear you laying these truths on the table loud and clear!!! It is an absolute travesty that a man running for president of the USA can speak like this about women and get away with it. Ladies, given that there was not much of an outcry, it clearly show just how much work lies ahead of us, and just how deep the misogyny runs – yes it’s a big scary word but when a potential president can say that talk of groping women is simply a locker room norm – then we had all best start talking out and sending a loud and clear message that this behaviour will no longer be tolerated in our homes, in our towns, in our cities, in our state, and in our country. Women’s voices matter and this bullying behaviour will not stop unless we take a stand. Thank you Crystal for speaking out loud and clear. I pray that no woman votes for this unethical, un-sensitive, and undeserving man.

  • Sheila Racioppi

    We need to do something about Bill Clinton back in the White House as well! He sickens me! So what do American people do? We have 2 choices to vote for because a 3rd party is a waisted vote???