“We have much bigger challenges to face than if ‘the Donald’ grabbed women’s crotches.”
My dearest friend,
Never have I written publicly about my sexual assaults in this way. But here it is. I can’t be silent any longer:
I was stranger raped at 14. I was a virgin; dragged behind a bush one night and raped.
I was also raped every night for three months when I was 15. My mother had sent me to live with a young couple who had children; I could be their ‘nanny’, and they could take care of me. Once I realized no one was coming to help me, hear me, save me, I ran away. I spent three years homeless, schlepping around with my clothes in a black garbage bag.
During these experiences, I was held down, hand over my mouth told not to make a sound. Silently raped.
I learned to be silent about my shame. Oh my God, my shame. What did do wrong? What could I have done differently? I hadn’t been drinking. I wasn’t promiscuous. I was a child. Raped by men. Nothing ever happened to the men.
Over the course of many more years, I continued experiencing harassment and sexual abuse. My shame always prevented me from speaking out.
One was a lawyer who offered to ‘help me out on my expensive billing if I gave him a hand’. I was already $75,000 into my child support case. I didn’t understand what he was asking for. You know, give me a hand, he said. He unzipped his pants. I left his office shaking and shocked. When I contacted the Upper Law Society of Canada, they said I could file a complaint, and it would go on his record, but there was nothing else they could do.
I stayed silent. Until now.
The craziness that is happening in America has reached a whole new level of crazy. Broken down crazy. Abusive crazy. Sexual assault crazy. Cra-cra-crazy.
And somehow millions of Americans are numb to it. Millions are desensitized by accusations that their next President is a sexual predator.
Who cares about it? It’s ONLY ‘locker room talk’? It’s just how guys are.
“Grow up,” Fred wrote to my friend on Facebook who said what Trump had done was unacceptable in a President. In a nutshell, Fred wrote back, “Grow up! Get over it. ‘This’ is what goes on in the world. We have much bigger challenges to face than if ‘the Donald’ grabbed women’s crotches.”
Without checking in first with my political correctness, I instantly wrote back to Fred:
Eeks…. WARNING: THIS MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SENSITIVE SOULS. Stop reading now, if so.
Here was my exact post:
As a woman who has actually had my boss push me against the wall in an underground parking lot, alone, stick his hand up my dress — all in a matter of seconds – and tell me he wanted to ‘f*ck my c*nt” and when I pushed him away and told him I had a boyfriend, he laughed and said, “I don’t want anything serious, just to have a good time”….
I DON’T THINK YOU GET THE SERIOUSNESS OF THIS, Fred! When I went to a lawyer to see what my rights were, he told me it was my word against my boss. When I refused to ‘play the game’ I lost my $150,000 a year job. I was a single mother. This is not a game. This is not locker room talk. This is not acceptable. And to have a potential President who talked like that at 59 years of age about WOMEN… IS WRONG ON EVERY LEVEL. Shocking that so many STILL DON’T GET THIS!!!
END OF POST.
I’m sorry if that just shocked or sickened you, but I can’t be silent any longer.
In 2009, the Dalai Lama said:
“the Western Woman will heal the world.”
We, women, are being called NOW!
The time is NOW!
If you are still afraid to speak your truth, own your past, talk about your injustices, or be a voice for other women, I am calling you now to heal your learned helplessness. Because you did learn to be silent. You learned that this is just what guys do; that sexual assault is not that big of a deal.
It’s a big deal. It must stop.
It will stop if we women decide that
it matters and that it is a BIG FUCKING DEAL.
Sexual assault is an act of power, control, violence, and abuse. It damages the person who was abused. It damages our society. Our world simply cannot have this type of violence permissible any longer. And yes, there are many challenges we must face but if ‘the Donald’ thinks it’s okay to grab women’s pussies without permission, I think HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL.
It is time to STAND UP!
Oh my sister, it is time! Stand up!